The best breeding report quotes

[Rose]

I would like to invite everyone to share their best/funniest breeding report quotes
"This mare stops and starts more than a student driver!" is one of my favourites.
The guy that evaluates our horses has a decent sense of humor alright

[CreamPops]

"I've seen elephants dancing on their tippy toes in tutus with better balance than this horse!"
this one made me laugh

[Rose]

"I've seen elephants dancing on their tippy toes in tutus with better balance than this horse!"
this one made me laugh

Wow, I never saw that one before. I'll be on the lookout for it

"This mare isn't slow, but she is no Flash Gordon! Then again, no one is."

[Emilyjane12]

I like this one "this mare couldn't even get out of a paper bag"

[Totina]

I have a load of collected statuses from the breeding report since the beta. I can list a few here:

Cripes, my underpants could outrun- err, begging your pardon...

Cripes, this colt keeps tempo like a 3rd grade band!

Careful now! This mare looks like she'll fall over any second!

[Rose]

This filly has two speeds: slow and slower. xD

[Arabela]

Got this one today "Bloody colt is smart! Too smart!".... but this one made me laugh "I've seen more graceful pigs"

[Hazel]

At first glance, I'd say this filly can't move for grapes. At second glance, I'd second my first glance.

Cripes, this filly keeps tempo like a 3rd grade band!

Your stallion keeps time like a broken watch.

I've seen perfect movement and I've seen just plain awful movement.

Who sold you this beast?

[Eurynome]

Well, this stallion is definitely not the sharpest tool in the shed...
Bloody stallion keeps stepping on his own feet, doesn't move nice at all.
I'm afraid your filly isn't very responsive.